While the self-love journey for all of us is on-going, here are a few things that are good to remember when you’re tempted to be mean to yourself:
1. The people you compare yourself to compare themselves to other people as well.
We all compare ourselves to other people, and I can assure you that the people who seem to have it all together are comparing themselves to others around them.
2. Your mind can be a very convincing liar.
Thoughts are just thoughts, and it’s unhealthy and exhausting to give them too much power. Especially as they are relative to what is in front of us at the time and not at all absolute.
3. There is more right with you than wrong.
It helps to remember that there are lots of things you like about yourself as well. It may not seem that way at times but even the fact that you are here, alive, and breathing and able to make new choices is something to celebrate.
4. Focus on progress rather than perfection and on how far you’ve come rather than on how far you have left to go.
One of the biggest causes of self-loathing is the hell-bent need to “get it right.” We strive for perfection and success, and when we fall short, we feel less than and worthless. What we don’t seem to realize is that striving for success and being willing to put ourselves out there is an accomplishment within itself.
Instead of berating yourself for messing up and stumbling backward, give yourself a pat on the back for trying, making progress, and coming as far as you have.
5. You need love the most when you feel you deserve it the least.
We often find that it is most difficult to accept love and understanding from others when we’re in a state of anger, shame, anxiety, or depression. But adopting the above truth can really shifted your perspective and help you realize that love is actually the greatest gift you can receive during such times.
6. You can’t hate your way into loving yourself.
Telling yourself what a failure you are won’t make you any more successful. Telling yourself you’re not living up to your full potential won’t help you reach a higher potential. Telling yourself you’re worthless and unlovable won’t make you feel any more worthy or lovable.
I know it sounds almost annoyingly simple, but the only way to achieve self-love is to tell yourself ‘I Love You’ as often as is possible every day. Regardless of how you are feeling.
You are enough just as you are. And self-love will get a little bit easier every time you remind yourself of that.
Come learn more about Self-Love,
Learn that Self-First is not Selfish but Self-Love
Discover ‘The Power of Self-Love’
by Algernon Williams